When our dogs learn to ask for attention or other resources in a rude way, we use the term “demand” to describe their behavior. Demand barking is a very common example of this type of behavior, but it can also include jumping, mouthing, nipping, and any variety of attention-grabbing behavior.
To reduce how often our dogs are rudely demanding things, we simply teach them to ask nicely!
Assess Your Resources & Choose Your Request Behavior
All demand behaviors are seeking some form of resource – it may be social interaction, food, toys, play, access to restricted environments, etc. Before we start training, we need to ask our dogs – what is it that they want? It is often pretty obvious, but some dogs are not so clear!
If you need help figuring out what your dog wants, try offering them a variety of options and seeing what they choose.
Step 1 – Choose A Polite Way To Ask
We are going to teach our dogs that we will respond to their request as long as they can ask politely. I recommend choosing a quiet, non-intrusive behavior like sit, down, or going to a specific location. Most often, these behaviors are not problematic if your dog chooses to offer them at inopportune times.
If you would like your dog to ask using a behavior they don’t already know, teach that behavior outside of the context of when your dog normally demands something. When dogs are pushy for a resource they want, they’re not usually in a learning mindset.
Step 2 – Link “Request” With Desire
Catch your dog in a setting where they might be inclined to use a demand behavior to ask for something they want. Ideally before they have a chance to bark, jump, whine, or any other demand behavior – ask for their new polite request behavior! When they are successful, reward them with the resource they wanted in the first place.
If your dog is too quick and they get a few demand barks in before you can ask for their new polite request behavior, don’t sweat it! Ask for their new behavior anyway and reward accordingly. Next time, try to be a little bit quicker than them and get that polite request behavior before they can get demanding.
Repeat this until your dog is reliably choosing to ask politely instead of demanding.
Step 3 – Maintain Polite Communication
Once your dog forms a solid connection and is regularly choosing to ask politely rather than demand things, you can stop responding to any lingering demands.
At first, don’t be surprised if his demands get more insistent! Sometimes, you may need to help him remember that he can ask politely.
As much as possible, respond to your dog’s polite requests. If you don’t respond reliably, your dog is likely to return to his previous disruptive behaviors.
